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Going through old issues of the Wrestling Observer Newsletter and posting highlights in my own words, continuing in the footsteps of daprice82. For anyone interested, I highly recommend signing up for the actual site at f4wonline and checking out the full archives. • PREVIOUS • 1987 FUTURE YEARS ARCHIVE: The Complete Observer Rewind Archive by daprice82
”This is horrible, Gorilla.” These words open the issue this week, because Wrestlemania IV is in the books and, well, it was not pretty. Dave is flabbergasted by how bad a show it was, wondering if this was a dream or a nightmare that he hasn’t woken up from. Wrestlemania III was the best wrestling production of all time. It may not have had the best card, but it was entertaining all around and the fans loved it. It set Vince up as the king of wrestling, all-powerful over the business. He’s still the king, but he’s definitely not all-powerful, and Crockett absolutely kicked Vince’s ass on March 27. Financials will take time to come in, and of course McMahon will win that measure, but we can flash back to January 24 for an analogue: The Royal Rumble won even though the Bunkhouse Finals made more money.
Preliminary info Dave has gotten from phoning cable companies and hearing from fans at closed-circuit site is that Wrestlemania interest was down by nearly half of last year’s. The buyrate for ppv could be as low as 6 percent, half of WWF’s expected 12% and still way down from last year’s 10.3%. Even so, the PPV gross would be $10.8 million, of which WWF can expect no more than $3.5 million, plus an estimated $2.3 million from a minimum 175,000 (last year had 375,000) at closed-circuit and a live gate of about $ million and an undisclosed site fee from Donald Trump for putting on the show. The early (and I mean early, don’t get attached to these numbers) overall estimate is a total gross of $14 million, with WWF netting maybe $6.5 million, a far cry from the $18 million they were predicting their take would be. How much was because Crockett ran the Clash? How much was because WWF just has been less interesting? It’s hard to say, but Crockett hurt McMahon way more than anyone could have anticipated.
As for the shows themselves, just absolute night and day between them. Crockett’s Clash was a really solid show. It wasn’t as polished a production and only had 30 minutes of wrestling in the first 90 minutes of the show, though this was to allow Sting/Flair to work without commercial breaks so it was an overall benefit. The matches, minus the barbed wire one, were all good. The crowd was into it. Two excellent matches. Probably best to never let Steve Williams talk again, though. The Jim Cornette and Eddie Haskel bit was great and made Bob Uecker and Gene Okerlund look worse than they were. Meanwhile, Wrestlemania made Starrcade 1987 look like Starrcade 1985, and that’s too nice to say even. WWF’s guys, rather than working harder because it was Wrestlemania, opted to phone it in instead because Wrestlemania itself would carry the day. Even Jesse Ventura had no good lines and coasted while Gorilla was like soundbites of his Wrestling Challenge commentary.
Anyway, Dave breaks down the major problems for WWF, as he sees them. 1) Hogan - he’s too over, to the point he overshadows everything else and by booking him as just one of the guys in the field, they completely devalued their star attraction. And instead of putting Randy over at the end, which they need to do if they’re going to try and have him be even close to as over as Hulk has been, they put Liz and Hulk over. “It’s like Randy can’t even order a taxi cab unless Liz tells Hulk to flag down the cab.” 2) Hindsight is always 20/20, but Trump Plaza was a terrible venue for a Wrestlemania, and the crowd just wasn’t a wrestling crowd, so they were not invested at all. 3) Steroids. Dave supposes he’s probably the most hated person in the world among the heavy steroid users in the business because of all the nicknames he gives them, but in all seriousness it was embarrassing to watch so many guys get blown up in a minute or two to where they couldn’t even pace out a five minute match. Like, take out the health issues, take out any sense of blame on the guys, Dave says. The tournament was embarrassing. It wasn’t funny to see the guys fail like this. It was just sad. 4) The tournament as a concept flopped. It gave fans no specific issue to focus on because belts in modern wrestling just don’t mean anything to fans - the real draw is the big personalities, and WWF proved it with this show: the only matches anyone cared about were the ones with Hogan and, to a lesser extent, DiBiase and Savage. 5) Spoilers. Too many people knew the outcome, and giving Savage the title is almost a mistake after you’ve given so many spoilers of your own show. ABC News did a report the morning after, saying “Randy Savage was the winner at Wrestlemania, but of course everyone knew it since the WWF magazine had printed the result three weeks ago. The WWF claims the magazine report was simply a typographical error.” Anyway, Dave is sick of people blaming him for their wrestling promotions not being able to draw fans at live shows when they aren’t interesting enough. Newsletter subscribers are maybe 0.002% of the viewing audience - if all Dave’s subscribers quit watching nobody would notice in the viewing numbers. Meanwhile, the fans who read newsletters are probably the most dedicated and put more money into the business than the “marks” do and will be the ones stubbornly holding on to the end if the business somehow were to die. So don’t blame Dave if your show sucks and your creative is bad and you give away your finish weeks ahead of time and don’t even bother changing it.
Anyway, Wrestlemania preliminary numbers time. About 540,000 homes on PPV, plus 195,000 through closed-circuit, as far as the U.S. goes. They did just 95 closed-circuit sites in the U.S., 39 of which had less than 2,000 capacity. No word on Crockett’s ratings, but if they hit a 5 on TBS that’s about 2 million homes.
So all that said, time to look at the Wrestlemania card. Good production, particularly the opening graphics, but not as far ahead of Crockett as last year now that they’ve upped their game. Battle royal started hot and quickly became your standard boring battle royal. The Hart/Badnews angle at the end saves the match from a dud and gets it half a star. DiBiase vs. Duggan was real slow for a five minute match, and Duggan no longer resembles the worker he was in UWF/Mid-South just a couple years ago. Very little heat. 1.5 stars. Muraco vs. Bravo gets half a star, and both were blown up by the double clothesline like they’d wrestled a hard 20 minutes, but the whole match was under 5. Valentine vs. Steamboat saw Valentine look tired and old, and just not have his famed longevity anymore. Good finish, solid work even with the timing issues. Steamboat coming out with his son and being able to be lost in the moment of just being a proud father was “a tremendous sight” for Dave. 2.25 stars. Savage vs. Reed got a pop for the finish but nothing else, really. 1 star. One Man Gang vs. Bam Bam Bigelow wasn’t good. It was obvious how bad Bigelow’s knee was, and that takes away his agility, which is the thing that sets him apart. Dave says this is a -1.5 star match in a vacuum, but considering Bam Bam’s condition he’s not going to rate it that low and calls it a dud instead. Rick Rude vs. Jake Roberts was a 15 minute draw and Dave hated it. He hated Rude’s tights, the many long rest holds, the fact that there just weren’t any moves in there to pop the crowd, and the fact that the crowd chanted boring. Worst match of the year candidate. -2 stars. Ultimate Warrior blew up before he entered the ring for his match with Hercules and the match was bad. -1.5 stars, and Dave says it was worse than Rude vs. Roberts, but gets a better rating for knowing when to be done quick and not overstaying its welcome like the other match did.
Wrestlemania continued, because holy shit that was a really long paragraph and we needed an intermission. Round two saw Hogan and Andre go to a double disqualification to start off. Andre could barely stand by two and a half minutes in. Lots of shenanigans, Virgil took a nasty suplex on the floor where Hulk didn’t protect him at all, but there’s a glimmer of a future face push for him at least. Maybe his father’s a plumber, Dave quips. Half a star if you ignore the posing at the end (dud if you count the posing). But really, the crowd came to see Hogan pose. DiBiase vs. Muraco had no heat but decent action for its short stay. 1.5 stars. Savage vs. Valentine was good, well-paced with good action. 2.5 stars. Beefer vs. Honkytonk Man amazed Dave since neither was over at all when both usually are decently over. Sherri Martel made more noise than the entire audience. Loads of shenanigans, Beefer’s new haircut makes him look like a Davey Boy Smith with less wrestling ability, dud. Islanders and Heenan vs. Koko and the Bulldogs had some decent comedy and started okay, but got boring quick. 1.25 stars. Savage vs. One Man Gang was watchable but the finish sucked. Half a star. Demolition vs. Santana and Martel was solid throughout, although the crowd seemed on Demolition’s side. If the crowd had been responsive this would have been a really good match rather than just pretty good at 2.5 stars. DiBiase vs. Savage saw the crowd missing “two top-flight guys trying to work a good match” because they were watching the entrance waiting for Hogan. Savage sends Liz to get Hogan, Hogan evens the odds, Savage wins, Hogan must pose. 2.25 stars. Once round two started, the show was pretty decent, Dave thinks, just the first half of the show wasn’t RestholdMania, but Rigor Mortis Mania.
Over in Crockett Country, it’s a whole different story. They drew 6,000 fans to the Greensboro Coliseum, and all six thousand were champing at the bit for the show, which created a great energy that the wrestlers fed on for their matches. Rotunda retained the TV Title against Jimmy Garvin in the amateur rules match with a one-count pin, pinning Garvin a minute into the second round. 2.5 stars. The Midnight Express beat the Fantastics by DQ to retain the U.S. Tag Titles in a classic Memphis style brawl that was so action packed the cameras missed a lot of it. Dave gives them 4.25 stars, saying the action earned it 4.5, but the overused finish with the over the top rope throw and the referee reversing the decision lost it half a star, but then the post-match action with Corette lashing Bobby Fulton’s back with a belt got it back a quarter star. Dusty and the Road Warriors (the Rhode Warriors, I almost typed) beat Warlord and Barbarian and Ivan Koloff in a real short barbed wire match, and Dave notes the resemblance between Dudty wearing facepaint and a black t-shirt and Dump Matsumoto (with the notable difference that Dump is prettier). Ivan was bleeding after 20 seconds and Dusty after 90. Dave hates these matches - everyone gets all cautious and careful and stays in the center of the ring, so nothing really happens. 1 star. Luger and Barry Windham beat Arn and Tully for the NWA Tag Titles. Good match all around, 3.5 stars. Flair and Sting had a 45 minute draw for the NWA Title in a match of the year candidate. Slow pace to start, but the heat kept up and they weren’t dull and Flair sold the hell out of every rest hold. Jim Ross and Tony Schiavone did fantastic work on this, particularly Ross who sold the intensity and importance of the match, which was critical for the first half (if only he were still able to do that today). There were supposed to be three judges, but there were five people at the table, only two of them didn’t vote, so no idea what the point there was. Anyway, Patty Mullen (Penthouse Pet of the year and who had been on Ric’s arm the night before on tv) picked Flair. Gary Juster, former NWA promoter, voted for Sting. Sandy Scott then ruled it a draw, and nothing came of the judging gimmick which made it utterly pointless. 4.75 stars
During Clash of the Champions, after the first match, there was an ad on TBS for the WWF 900 number advertising play-by-play for Wrestlemania. WWF managed to get an ad on TBS during Crockett’s big special, and that’s hilarious. They also ran the first ad for the new Four Horsemen vitamins, which was hilarious but unintentionally so, and Dave thinks they aren’t going to sell a lot of those vitamins.
Last week Dave teased a big story, and it’s that Crockett has been negotiating with Ken Mantell of World Class Dave didn’t give any details beyond the tease last week because he was hoping to get more before press time. He promises to never note a major story the way he did again without giving more details up front, because he expected more details to break before he had to print copy but it didn’t. Anyway, negotiations have been ongoing for ten days and there are conflicting reports. Crockett’s goal is taking over World Class the way they did Florida, getting the valuable channel 11 time slot on Saturday nights in Dallas. They’re going to need Fritz on board to complete the deal, though. If it does go through, Kerry and Kevin will have guaranteed work and a push in the NWA, but neither really seems to want the travel, so they’d likely get a deal for local stuff and maybe occasional work in St. Louis. The bottom line everyone needs to consider, though, is that Mantell and Michael Hayes may be the most creative bookers anywhere right now, but they aren’t turning WCCW’s business around and it just may not work out that they can. Dave doesn’t expect a deal done now, but he thinks Mantell and Hayes may give themselves until May to see if their hard work will pay off before considering any offers.
An example of that creative booking is the WCCW title change on March 25 in Dallas. Hayes was at ringside with Kerry while Black Bart and Buddy Roberts were for Parsons. Iceman King Parsons is one of the least likely champions in wrestling history, and the match wasn’t particularly good, but the finish saw the lights go out after Terry Gordy came down, at which point Bart and Roberts used flashlights to blind the fans in the front row so nobody could see what happened. When the lights came back on, Kerry was knocked out in the ring, Hayes was bleeding on the floor, nobody knew who hit whom, and Parsons pinned Kerry to win the belt. They even had Kerry carted out on a stretcher. Dave doesn’t think (and actively prays against) Parsons will hold it for long. Hayes looks like the best prospect (nope. It’s going back to Kerry in May at the Von Erich Memorial Parade of Champions). Also, I just learned that King Parsons is his real legal name. I always thought combining Iceman and King was a weird combo of gimmicks, so that solves a mystery for me.
Eddie Gilbert is leaving Memphis to book for Continental beginning April 10. Continental’s business is bottoming out and it’ll be interesting to see if Gilbert and Missy can get things going there again like they did in Memphis. This also puts Memphis in some dire straits, since the Gilberts were basically all their storylines and they were drawing triple what they had been by giving the Gilberts such big spotlight, so they’re in trouble.
Lanny Poffo, brother of WWF Champion Randy Savage, has a book coming out called Wrestling with Rhyme. It’s a book of poetry coming out in late April and will be available at Walden Books. Man, I remember when Walden went out of business. It was a sad day for me.
The only news Dave has from Japan right now is that Bruiser Brody beat Jumbo Tsuruta for the International Title at Budokan Hall on March 27. Tenryu also retained his PWF Title against Hansen.
Roddy Piper’s latest project is a new film going into production called They Live.
A correction on the Bruno Sammartino stuff. WWF isn’t trying to ban Bruno from using his name. They’re trying to ban him from using the trademarked nickname “The Living Legend” in contexts outside WWF. There’s a lot of talk about his radio interview , and some excerpts in the mail section of this issue.
There’s a film in the works about former Olympic and pro wrestler Chris Taylor. Taylor was a 450 lb wrestler from Iowa who won bronze in the 1972 Olympics and died in 1979. A book about him called “The Gentle Giant” is being adapted into a film, currently called “Lean On Me.” That does not wind up being the title, and I can’t find a movie based on him so this might have gotten scrapped. In other biopic news, no word from Hollywood on any upcoming Hulk Hogan movie.
WWF went up to the number 4 slot in the syndicated ratings for the week ending Feb. 28. They had a 10.6 rating, an increase on the previous week. Crockett’s network fell to number 9 with a 7.6.
Paul E. Dangerously firing Joe Pedicino, Gordon Solie, and Boni Blackstone on Pro Wrestling this Week aired this past weekend. It was fantastic stuff, and Paul has cemented himself as one of the top managers in the business. This is all part of a reformatting of the show to a 30 minute format with Pedicino and Patrick Schaeffer (who was the mastermind behind Global doing an IPO to build up a million dollars of operating capital) at the helm, with Schaeffer as the heel commentator.
Crockett had a big angle taped on March 21 that they aired this past Saturday, involving Magnum T.A. Magnum was doing an interview when Tully and J.J. came out, then Barry Windham came out and Tully popped Windham with a hit, then hit Magnum. J.J. was behind Magnum and helped Magnum gently go to ground, then Dusty barged in with a baseball bat and swung for the fences on Tully, then knocks out Jim Crockett without realizing who he’s swinging at when Jim and David Crockett and Rob Garner try to restore order. Jim Cornette did a tearful interview about his “good friend Jim Crockett” and Magnum even bladed, though that last didn’t make it to tv. Later on, Magnum came out and hit Tully with a bat in a match to cause a disqualification. Dave loved the concept here at first because you have to imagine Magnum hates being on the sidelines and wants to be involved to some extent and this gives him something to sink his teeth into. At the same time, “the idea of beating up a cripple, which unfortunately is the reality of the situation” is just kind of pathetic. That said, it’ll draw, and it’ll let Dusty (with Magnum in his corner) push himself as top star once again, and it may even be enough to put heat back on Dusty vs. Tully. Dusty will be suspended for 120 days come Saturday’s tv (taking us into July - will we see the Midnight Rider face Flair at the Bash, Dave wonders), Dusty will return as the Midnight Rider with Magnum at his side, and he’ll likely get the U.S. title in the tournament they’re going to hold in May.
The Oregon State Athletic Commission held a public hearing on March 18. Topics mostly stuck to safety concerns such as cleaning the mats, barriers at ringside, security, mats on the floor by ringside, etc. A lot of wrestlers were there, along with Billy Jack Haynes and Don and Barry Owen. Most of the wrestlers were negative about the Owens’ promotion, with only Tony Borne and Art Crews saying anything positive. Borne testified against the idea of using mats outside the ring, saying it’s not going to help as much as it hurts the visual effect of a spill to the floor. He also said the commission’s drug testing proposal went too far by including painkillers and marijuana on top of cocaine. The commission indicated they’ll be looking at action like the use of chairs in the future and potentially issuing fines. They also clarified their stance on blood: hardway is good, blading is bad. It’s pretty absurd to say that the more dangerous way of getting color is good but blading is bad, but this whole blood thing has become a thing for commissions around the country because blading sounds absolutely insane to people outside the industry, and even Dave has mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, blading is a minor safety issue at best, especially compared to rampant steroid and drug use and nasty bumps. On the other, Dave’s not sure fans are really drawn by excessive bleeding either, and probably actually turns off a large number of potential casual viewers. It doesn’t hurt if kept rare, but it doesn’t help if half the matches have it. And more dangerous to the wrestlers in a blood match than AIDS (they’re more likely to get that from outside activities) is scabies, which Owen’s wrestlers had an outbreak of not too far back. Rip Oliver said he’s gotten scabies four times since July and wound up giving it to his wife and kids on top of it. The outbreak led the Commission to pass a ruling against wrestlers working while they have communicable diseases and that they must notify promoters.
Eddie Gilbert vs. Jerry Lawler on March 21 drew 6,000 fans for Memphis. Gilbert won in what’s being hailed as a great match (and Dave’s heard their match the week before was even better). On tv on March 26 Gilbert acted like he was going to throw fire at Lance Russell, which got Lawler out from backstage in his first tv appearance in a month. They wound up brawling into the parking lot and Gilbert slammed Lawler on the hood of a car, shattering the windshield.
Scott Rechsteiner, using the ring name Scott Steiner, debuted as a babyface in Memphis recently. No mention of peaks or freaks yet.
Some random trivia about AWA Tag champ Paul Diamond. His real name is Tom Boric, and he was born in Winnipeg, you idiots, on May 11, 1961. He played soccer for the Tampa Bay Rowdies in the old North American Soccer League and was drafted sixth in the 1980 collegiate draft by the Calgary Boomers, before getting traded to Tampa in 1982. He stayed until the NASL folded, which is when he got into wrestling.
Anyway, Diamond and Tanaka won the belts because the Midnight Rockers wanted $500 a week guaranteed to stay and Verne doesn’t believe in guaranteed money. They don’t appear to have left yet.
[Continental] Looks like Eddie Gilbert is replacing Robert Fuller and going to be sole booker.
[USA] The other spinoff from the old Continental promotion ran its first big show in Knoxville, drawing a $10,000 gate. Previous sellouts there hit $27,000, to give an indication of relative value there. Not a lot to report about this. Moondog Spot is there as “The Dog.” He’s not a big dog. He’s not a little dog. He’s The Dog.
WCCW drew 1,700 on March 25 for their Dallas show, where Kerry dropped the title to Parsons. The other main event had Michael Hayes vs. Buddy Roberts, and Roberts kept trying to apologize for hitting Hayes, but Hayes wasn’t going to let it slide. Terry Gordy did a run in and broke things up, and told Hayes they sold Angel of Death’s contract so they can all be friends again. Hayes walked out on Gordy, though.
[WCCW] Fabulous Lance keeps getting booked for shows but hasn’t returned. His agent still doesn’t want him to be a heel because it’ll cut down his opportunities for tv and modeling work.
To illustrate how bad business is for World Class, here’s the biggest gate they drew out of three shows last week in Mississippi: $783.
A man named David Peschel of Washington, New Jersey is suing Randy Savage for a million dollars. He alleges that Savage punched and bodyslammed him when he got out of his car at a light to ask Savage for his autograph. He describes Savage as 6’4” and 280 lbs, prompting Dave to ask if this was maybe a different Randy Savage.
Rumor has it that Angelo Poffo put a $1 bet on the Wrestlemania tournament. Apparently, his bet was on Ted DiBiase.
According to a sumo journal in Japan, Futuhaguro is 99% certain he won’t go into pro wrestling. Koji Kitao will debut near the end of 1989 in the AWA, so I’ll put my dollar bet on the 1% chance.
Reader Mike Rodgers attended the Oregon commission hearing on March 18 and writes about his take. The commission is making big improvements to safety that he thinks are great, but thinks they’re overstepping by wanting to legitimately fine wrestlers who use foreign objects or chairs, and says they don’t understand “that promoters do what they can to fill up arenas.” Banning the blade but not blood is just going to increase the chance of legitimate injury, and it’s part of the proof that the commission really isn’t smart to what wrestling really is about.
We get a really long letter on Bruno’s radio interview. The writer taped the second hour and is hoping to get tape of the first hour. But before getting to the good stuff, he first wants to note that lying and silly gimmicks didn’t start in 1984 (was Gorilla Monsoon really from Manchuria? Didn’t Bruno employ gimmick wrestlers when he booked Pittsburgh? How about when he’d blade and claim to have spent the night hospitalized receiving transfusions) and that Bruno’s not really got a leg to stand on for “wrestling must be credible and it is an insult to the fans’ intelligence to lie to them.” Fans knew then just as they know now that it’s a work, but that doesn’t matter - you watch the show because it’s entertaining and you want to see the magician do their tricks. Also, the writer weighs in that the real story with the Main Event will be told by the demographic breakdown rather than the overall rating. In other words, is Hulk Hogan the Demo God? Anyway, after all this preamble, we finally get some quotes from the interview:
Bruno denies blading happened in his day but says “today, nothing would surprise me.”
Says he’ll never work for the NWA. “I wouldn’t touch it with a 50-foot pole.”
He breaks kayfabe on George Steele and says he’s been a teacher for years.
He thinks Bobby Heenan is a “dud and a disgrace” to wrestling.
He compliments Ric Flair as a guy who can give you an exciting 30 or 40 minute match, but the NWA “have an awful lot of bizarre nonsense in there that, to me, is no good.”
He says David wanted to be like him and he tried to warn David that these days they aren’t interested in “guys who just want to wrestle” but he’ll be going to Japan where they appreciate that better.
He didn’t like doing commentary. He just clocked in, did his job, and left as soon as he was done. He was very uncomfortable and unhappy doing it.
Bruno says WWF didn’t really have anything great to generate interest in the tournament for Wrestlemania.
A caller asks if his wrestling was all real, and Bruno says “Well, it was in my day, at least I thought it was.
We get a letter that feels so much like it could have been a post here on /SquaredCircle when Dave rated Omega/Okada 6 stars that I’m posting it in its entirety. Be warned, it is long, kind of racist, and absolutely bonkers, but that’s not unfamiliar around these parts. It gets the headline “Sick of praise for Japan.”
I get so sick of the way that people talk about Japanese wrestling. There’s no question it should be covered extensively in the Observer because it is a significant part of the wrestling world. However, when you start printing letters that criticize the American society and the jazz scene, then you are going way too far. Anyone who thinks the Japanese never forsake quality for showmanship is full of it. The rock group KISS has enjoyed phenomenal success there because of their wild appearence [sic] and stage show. In fact, when they stopped wearing their makeup in the United States, they waited almost two years to do the same in Japan because they knew they wouldn’t be accepted there without it. And what about the movie industry? Do you think Godzilla movies are popular because of great acting? As a student, I find teachers constantly comparing the American intelligence with that of the Japanese. I’m sure that the wrestlers love being compared to Japanese wrestlers as much as I love being compared to Japanese students. The Japanese do well at everything because they become obsessed with it. For them, it’s a matter of pride. If they screw up, it’s not only a mark on themselves but also on their entire family. You may think that’s great, but it puts a lot of pressure on everyone. They spend hours studying and I’m certain spend hours learning wrestling skills and have no time for themselves. Cut the North American wrestlers some slack. They’re just trying to make a living and preserve their bodies in the process. Look at what trying to wrestle like the Japanese did to Tommy Billington. Everyone would love matches filled with nothing but high spots, but working them is a great way to destroy yourself in a hurry. Now there is no excuse for total duds like Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant either, but there are many non-Japanese who can hold their own without going crazy about it. I wonder how many Observer readers can honestly say that they work as hard at their own jobs as the Japanese in the same profession do. If they do, then I think they would quality [sic] as workaholics. If there is anything wrong with our society, it’s the lack of national pride, which is so evident in the pages of the Observer. You seem to hate everything that wasn’t imported from the other side of the world. I have absolutely nothing against the country of Japan or Japanese wrestling, but I don’t think it’s up to a bunch of wrestling fans to dictate what’s wrong with our country just because they prefer the Oriental style of wrestling. I think the Observer is great, but I’d like to see you stick to writing about wrestling instead of how rotten our way of life is. I’m sure that’s what a Japanese journalist would do.
Anyway, Dave responds to that letter, giving the writer only 4 stars because it’s not in the literally-only-opened-a-couple-weeks-ago Tokyo Dome:
DM: Have I ever written about how rotten our quality of life is or done any cultural comparisons between the U.S. and Japan except to where it pertains to the wrestling business? If I lived in Japan and made a comparison of the quality of the football product and wrote the U.S. product was superior, I hope people wouldn’t take it as an indictment against an entire society.
Lastly, it’s about that time of year, I guess, because we have letters arguing about whether Dave should include GLOW coverage or not. Two letters this week on that theme, the first noting what the writer calls a progression in the letters calling for more coverage of women’s wrestling. First were the calls for more coverage of “conventional” women’s wrestling. Then the calls for GLOW coverage. Then POWW. Guess the next will be coverage of the apartment house wrestling scene, the writer supposes. The other writer claims to speak for 90% of subscribers and says Dave would offend that much of his readership if he covers GLOW and POWW and says that if you even consider GLOW to be pro wrestling, you’re incapable of understanding what makes a match good or not. This one asks if Dave’s going to be asked to cover mud wrestling next. There’s no misogyny problem in wrestling fandom. Move along. Nothing to see here.
Back to news, the Kentucky Athletic Commission has put up some new rules. There are to be guard rails around the ring now. Throwing an opponent over the top rope will result in a fine or suspension. Ditto for any referee who doesn’t immediately stop the match for it. The top rope rule is now state law, as insane as that sounds.
Dave should have national numbers next week, but in Atlanta Clash of the Champions drew an 11.7 rating, with the FlaiSting match hitting 14.5 National numbers will not be nearly that high, but hitting that 5 Dave mentioned earlier that would mean 2 million viewers doesn’t seem so far fetched anymore. Clash beat the NCAA tournament on the networks in Atlanta. TBS is reportedly looking to do another in prime time on a Wednesday early in the summer.
Stampede set up an angle where Johnny Smith (kayfabe Davey Boy’s cousin or brother or something) argued with Diana Hart Smith, which got Owen out to defend his sister. Davey Boy was supposed to come in after Wrestlemania to work with Johnny, but Vince put the kibosh on that. There were also considerations for some Stampede guys to participate in the Crockett Cup, but politics (Vince) made that a no-go. So it’s probably no coincidence that when Owen did the job for Hercules it was just outside Greensboro. Anyway, the real takeaway is that Owen is probably coming over to WWF by the end of the year.
NEXT WEEK:Clash vs. Wrestlemania poll results, Clash ratings and Wrestlemania buyrate, an assload of mini headlines because news is apparently thin next week, and more
PROLOGUE I know i promised in Day 1 Week 1 to post some short stories and cap it with one big story of epic proportions. But ever since i said that, i couldnt get the “big one” out of my mind. giggity Maybe its because of how much of it was “could you believe this shit?” material. Its a story thats still going on and has been for 2 years now. Advance warning: if you somehow dont agree with me as a person, or my story, try to voice your disagreement in a civil manner. If you can’t, just stick to PMs or keep it to yourself. Dont blast it in the comments section. This is a nice community. No TLDRs, if you have the time to be on Reddit, you have the time to read this. Zero apologies for grammar or spelling mistakes either. Heard you can keep them and combine them with spelling/grammar mistakes from other posts, and eventually you can have a ball of grammar and spelling mistakes that you can keep as a pet and will keep you warm at night. BACKGROUND I am a mixed race woman: half white, half mixed asian, (redacted) years old. I am also what hard core old schoolers would call, a sinner. Yeah. Been living in sin with a partner i married in Las Vegas, USA some years ago. If that doesnt make your standard issue hypocrite cringe, we are also both active duty members of our country’s military. I work in a combat arms unit, and she drives a fighter plane for a living. Yeah, so just your basic, standard issue “baby killing lezzies”. Actual words thrown at us before. PART 1 Once we got our permanent duty assignment, we decided to buy a property together. We bought into this nice semi gated community close to the base thats populated by about 95% active duty or retired military. We were welcomed warmly into the community, except for our immediate neighbour to the left. We’ll call them Kevin and Karen. (Very original). They were about 50 years of age, have 2 kids away in university and 1 kid who flunked his ABC’s living with them in his late 20’s. Kevin is active duty as an Air Force officer. I believe he’s a tech of some sort. Aren’t all Air Force dudes a tech of some kind? And Karen is a “professional influencer” who deals in MLM, fitness and travel stuff. The fact that they have problems with us as their neighbours was evident from the beginning. Here’s the indicators of no particular order: -our realtor and HOA organized a welcome party for us at the country club with welcome gifts and cards. The card is massive with welcome messages from everyone. Kevin and Karen just signed theirs with: “Welcome! Kevin and Karen”. They were also notably absent, with everyone else who was absent having a valid excuse. -within our first month of living in our new home, we were immediately bombarded with complaints from the HOA. Since our immediate neighbours were: Kevin and Karen to the south, an empty lot to the north, a small wooded area behind our houses, and people across the street we quickly became friends with, its obvious to see where the complaints were coming from. We were told were exposing the kids in the neighbourhood to indecency and even nudity. (This is about me and the partner going for runs in the weekend. Our standard running attire is pretty normal, sports bra covered by a tank top, and shorts or yoga pants. We took this one pretty hard since even facing accusations of child molestation/exposure is a serious career ender). We were told we were clogging up the streets with illegally parked cars. (Its about that one time i quickly drove home to grab the lunch i forgot, and i was in a rush to park properly, in front of my own property). We were told we were neglecting our part in maintaining our home, driving down property values in our neighbourhood. (This one i have no idea). We were told that we were stinking up the neighbourhood with bad smells. (That one time i went outside to use the grill and cook a smoked fish i picked up from an Asian store.) We were told we play our music too loud and its bothering people. (Okay, ill give this a shot that we may be at fault for this one because of a couple of times where we hosted a weekend party). Its all a lot of small stuff too much to mention, but its obvious that someone has a problem with us. -They also filed a separate report for “indecent exposure” with the cops. Source of the complaint? Milena and I were having some fun, healthy grown up times that probably went a bit too loud at some point, and i ran into the kitchen to grab a glass of water while still in my birthday suit. That brief 10 second period where i happened to be in view through the open kitchen windows, AT 1 IN THE MORNING, is apparently enough to line us up right there with sex offenders. I did a bit more analysis over this after the cops left. If were considering that our walls are paper thin, which it isnt. I’ve had times where Milena is playing Warzone at full volume in the den and you couldn’t hear anything from two rooms over, let alone from outside the house. But lets say that maybe we were actually that loud. My kitchen window at the time only had one window that was open and uncovered. This is a window that faces K&K’s house. Between their fencing and fruit trees, the only way you could see into my kitchen from that window is if you’re viewing it from a second story vantage point. The second story of their house has NO windows facing any of my kitchen windows. ZERO. So that means that one, or both of them, by some miraculous reason, heard and got awakened by the fun times going on, stepped out of their house and somehow peeked into our house either through or over their fence. I GAVE THEM A SHOW AND INSTEAD OF TIPPING ME, THEY CALLED THE COPS AND GAVE ME THE WHOLE SHAFT! Motherfuckers. And finally, the dog. I have a 7 year old Husky-Lab mix. He has been fully trained by an actual professional school to be a therapy dog. He is trained not to bark under any circumstances except for the emergencies he is trained to respond to (fire, me or my partner being rendered unconscious). So its a surprise when the complaints against us started to include my dog and his “excessive barking”. And then it escalated to his “unattended droppings”. And then how he looks like a “threatening breed”. Keep in mind that this dog and his breed has been cleared by our HOA. And even if they didnt, they can go kick rocks since he’s a registered therapy dog used for a legit medical reason. We willingly offerred the HOA to submit to them all copies of our outside camera’s feeds for a month to see if there’s a pattern of un neighbourly conduct we might be doing and not aware of. The HOA is pretty happy with our proposed solution and took us up on our offer. We didnt change anything with our lifestyle and after a month, they were happy with what they saw and concluded the complaints against us are baseless. This is also when the person from HOA let slip that ALL the complaints came from ONE residence where their owners are known for being “squeaky wheels, that need a lot of greasing to keep happy”. Well, someone has a grudge against us and we dont know what we did wrong against them. It eventually escalated with the culprits outing themselves. CONFLICT 1 This all came to a head sometime in April 2019 when I was mowing our backyard and doing some spring house maintenance. I looked across the fence and noticed that ALL of K&K’s backyard camera’s were pointed at OUR yard. I thought it was odd so i asked Kevin about that when he stepped outside to have a cigarette. I was immediately met with shouting and curses. “Its my cameras! Ill point it wherever i want! And right now, i want evidence that you’re intentionally luring wildlife destroying my yard! And put some fucking clothes on!” I was puzzled about that and asked him what he meant. He kept shouting and through his raving, i came to the conclusion that he had a problem with my birdfeeder. Now, i cleared this bird feeder with the HOA. They approved this. This feeder was built in a way, that ONLY birds can access it. Squirrels maybe, but we dont have any of those in our area. There’s not a lot of wildlife populating that small wooded area behind us. So there’s no way that something big enough will be attracted and have access to my bird feeder and destroy anyone’s property. Its not like we live in a place where wildlife - human interaction is a problem. Besides, what property was he talking about being destroyed by this non existent wild animals? He has a rock garden and a couple of fruit trees in his completely fenced up yard. He ended his rant with the threat that if he sees any one single animal in his yard that was there because of my feeder, he’ll come over to my house, destroy my feeder, and destroy anything else he wants just to see how i like it. Or if he sees my dog anywhere near his property, he will call Animal Control to take him away, and if my dog continues to be a “threat” to him, he’ll shoot him regardless of whether AC is on the way or not. After over a month of this irritation + this confrontation with him, i decided that i wont be a prisoner in my own home anymore because of the whims of one man. I sent my own complaints to the HOA telling them about this interaction that ended with a threat to my safety and my property, and the improper behaviour of my neighbour. I was told that if it qualifies as an HOA issue, they cant mediate in “he said-she said” scenarios without proper evidence or witnesses. But, since it sounds more like a safety and well being issue, it sounds more like something the police should be involved in. But they wouldn’t be able to do anything except file a first complaint unless something physically happens/happened to us. Well, isnt that just amazing? For the following months, my hands were tied and there’s nothing i can do but file a complaint or file a response to a complaint filed against me at the HOA. Even the HOA people, who thrive on drama like this, were getting tired of it. I got to make friends with a lot of my neighbours during these months, attending community events, and got the picture that K&K were bullies. Theyve always managed to strong arm people, and they seem to pick on people who are just “different”. Either people of colour, different beliefs, someone they think is inferior to Kevin’s status as an AF officer, or, i dont know, maybe someone they just dont like. One of those guys i had the chance to chat with told me (paraphrasing): “Look. I dont know why is it that K&K like to pick on people who are obviously different when they’re obviously different themselves. Maybe, they like being big fish in a small pond? But, look at it this way, if i like to target “different” people because of the way they are, then you and Milena (my partner’s middle name) are obviously going to be the crown jewels in my collection. You both are uniform wearing, card carrying open and unashamed lesbians, and in your case, a person of quite a petite stature who is also of mixed ethnicity. If i attended a KKK sponsored bingo night in Alabama, your guys’ description would give me a blackout win. You’re with (my unit) right? You’re giving them a bad reputation by eating this guys’ incoming more than you have to. I think its time for you return fire and destroy this POG.” PAYBACK 1 I was still at a loss as to how to process this message and then something clicked. Its already approaching Christmas and the active/retired gunfighters in my neigbourhood likes to host a “King of the Cage” charity fight. This is a big deal for our neighbourhood and our base, with caterers being hired by the HOA and medics volunteering for this fight being excempted from all duties by their chain. This is how it goes: MMA fight rules and equipment + King of the Hill rules. No weight classes, MMA rules + referees, and you have to sign a waiver. King of the Hill rules is you have to win 2 out of 3 fights to advance to the next heat, until the semi finals when 1 loss will get you out of the running regardless. You go from one fight to the next and the only time you get to rest is if you get to the semi finals. This is organized by my neighbourhood’s HOA, but has gotten so popular over the years and spilled into the base personnel because of the sheer amount of officers and active duty personnel living here. Everyone pays a fee to get their name in the fight, the pot is matched pound for pound by the HOA fund and (unofficial) senior NCO and officer’s fund, 25% of the proceeds goes to the winner, and the remaining goes to whichever charity is being hosted at the time. Everyone who is active duty both in the neighbourhood and people working at the base is “encouraged” to sign up. Heavy emphasis on the “encouragement” for both occifers and senior personnel. You better have a good reason for declining to fight since this is the one time where troops have a good chance of punching you in the face with no repercussions. And punching someone more senior than you in the face is always good for morale, and gives troops the impression that their leaders are still grounded and human like they are. Partner and I sign up once they announced they are now taking names. Both my partner and i have good backgrounds when it comes to fighting and martial arts (in the ring and real life). Milena regularly does boxing drills as part of physical training, and has been fighting in karate and tae-kwon-do tournaments since grade school. Im the more proficient one when it comes fighting. Some people metaphorically give their kid at birth soccer balls, or a basketball, or whatever it is that they want to impart to their kids as a lifelong skill. Im only exaggerating when i swear that my dad gave me emei daggers when i was born. I have a strong background and training in muay thai, krav maga, bjj, kali/eskrima, and wushu (specialized in sword and dagger routines). Ive been competing in wushu and kali tournaments since i was 10, bjj/grappling since high school, and continues to compete in kali and bjj up to now. Ive also used krav maga and kali drills in work related fights and routinely use it when were doing MMA sports days at work. So, despite my deceptively petite stature, i can handle a LOT. Pun intended. Get over it. 😘 Anyway, with a little bit of finagling, i was able to convince several key fighters to let Kevin win their bouts. Kevin is pretty good from what i can tell, although hes more of a stand up fighter instead of a submission/ground and pound fighter. He just basically overwhelms people with his size and weight. Whenever he is down on the ground, he can easily strong arm people into submission. He’s about 6’5 against my 5’5 if im thinking tall thoughts. He weighs around maybe 250 lbs, against my 160 lbs soaking wet. Im pretty much physically half the person that he is. Lol. I can already tell that no amount of skill, training or wishful thinking in the world will let me win over someone who can easily overwhelm me with their innate weight and size. I face him for the first time in the last couple of matches before the semi finals, with several wins already under both of our names. The semi finals bracket is composed of 4 fighters and 1 random semi finalist whos been eliminated but won the selection fights, with the top 2 advancing to the finals cage. So i huddled with Milena and came up with a plan that heavily revolves around exploiting the selection fight. This “selection” fight will still be MMA rules and refereee and have the additional risk of bare knuckles and fighters’ choice of sparring weapons. (Padded kali sticks, blunt knives and swords, padded shinai (kendo) swords, shock knives, and pugil sticks.) This risk is offset by “protective padding”, but anyone whos ever sparred at anything can attest to how they only minimize the hurt. It still hurts. People who have been knocked out earlier in the process can “buy” into the selection fight twice and get another shot at being the fight night champion. People who have been knocked out from the semis can only buy in once. The buy in is twice the registration fee. The selection fight mat is “live” for as long as there fighters fighting on it, and as long as there’s still fighters qualified and willing to buy in. The selection fight will be closed for business once the final matches start. I think theres some other rules and conditions im forgetting to mention. The shock knives were a popular choice and had to have batteries swapped out a few times. People were just having the time of their lives shock knifing colleagues and even bosses. My favorite is when a mat had to be taken out of commission for cleaning and disinfecting. Some grunt shock knifed his buddy, and then drove a knee onto his gut. Buddy reacted the way most human bodies do when under stress: he vacated his bowels. Yup. He pooped himself. Poor guy. Bet you he’s gonna have fun with his new call sign. The time came when i had to fight Kevin. I have yet to lose a fight while Kevin is 1 and 1. One more loss and he’s out. As soon as the ref said: “Fight!” I immediately knelt and tapped on the mat. I just threw away my first fight against Kevin. I went against another fighter and won that one, and then tapped myself out again when i had to face Kevin one more. He didnt say anything to me but the looks he was throwing me while almost sneering were enough to tell me that if there arent any witnesses, he would have been jumping down my throat with insults. I went to the selection fight mat and bought myself back in. There was some other people in line and i quickly won against the ones i was matched with. If anyone is still reading to this point and counting, i now stand as King/Queen of the Hill, with the chance to be the dark horse fighter in the finals unless someone goes against me, and with one more buy in left if i get knocked out in the semi finals fight. And wouldnt you know it, Kevin got a thrashing in that one last fight before the semis. He bought himself back in and is now facing me on the mat. His weapon of choice was the pugil stick. I swapped out the shock knife ive been using to a pair of kali sticks. We were both padded up with our heads, upper body, and shins covered with padding + a groin protector. Ladies and germs, if youre still reading, let me tell you that this was the fight of my life. Ive done my share of both real life and training session fighting, but this one was the one fight that i will never forget. Its because i was facing someone that has been tormenting me, because of who i am as a person, non stop for months. He quickly charged at me as soon as the ref blew the whistle. But since he is padded up, hes just a bit slower and clumsier. Exactly how i need him to be. I deflected his pugil stick with my kali sticks. I was able to disarm him with a quick parry —> wrist strike —> disarming twist. Before the ref can blow his whistle, i smacked him on the head with a stick, dropped my sticks, and did a single leg takedown. I made sure to land on him with my entire body weight and my elbow planted on his belly. We are now both unarmed and has transitioned to grappling. Still stunned from the blow to the head, he was simply offering weak resistance. Before he could recover, i secured my full mount on him, snuck in a few hammer fists to the unprotected part of his face, and locked in a textbook American lock. I was cranking that bitch hard until the ref stopped the fight with me staying on as K/QOTH. I moved on to the semi finals while he bought himself back in. Before you know it, we were up against each other again in the semis and i outed myself again by tapping on the mat. I quickly regained K/QOTH status and am facing him again after he got ground and pounded to submission. This time, he picked the shock knife and i stuck to my kali sticks. He is a lot more wary this time after i caught him unawares in our first time fight. We spent a couple minutes jabbing and striking to test each other’s defenses. Finally, i caught an opening. He tried to stab at me with the shock knife. I dropped my left stick while sidestepping him, caught his knife hand with my left hand, digging my fingers into his tendons, and while still holding my remaining stick, i hit him with a straight jab to the face, and ended the action by jabbing downwards at the wrist i was holding with the butt of my stick. This caused his wrist to go limp and drop the knife. I have now disarmed him, again. I dropped the remaining stick and while still clutching his now limp right hand against my chest, hammer fisted his right shoulder at the joint, hit him a back fist on his neck, (i believe i hit, or came close to hitting his carotid artery), and followed up with an enpty handed palm strike to his nose. Ever felt ligaments crunching? Feels gross. Sounds even grosser. I broke his nose and knocked him out cold. He’s down and done. TKO is announced and i move on to the finals. He’s now been medically DQ’ed by the refs and medics attending. Since there’s no more fighters qualified or willing to buy in, i automatically advanced to the last couple semi finals fights. The rest of the night was a blur. I was gassed out by the time i qualified for the finals and got easily submitted with a kimura. To be fair, im not even mad i got so far into a US$25,000 competition only to get knocked out at 3rd place. Im not even mad about the black eyes or sore back or all the bruises. Because of the payback. This is sweet, sweet fuckery revenge for me. This son of a motherless whore has been tormenting me and my partner for months, casting a dark cloud in a what should have been a sweet moment for me and my partner both coming off of extended deployments and finally getting some down time together and finally getting to enjoy being homeowners. He has also been bad mouthing(?) us with our neighbours as we later learned. And for payback, i got to make him my bitch, twice. Part 2 coming up. The title would be: “You f***ing people!” and involves Karen a lot more.
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[effort] The world of /r/france, chapter XI: Are anti-racists the real racists? It's mayocide time
/france being a french subreddit, you don't hear much about it on SRS. I thought I should effortpost about them every now and then, as I loathe how french people who arrive on reddit get greeted by the cesspool of hate that is this subreddit. Basically, I'm documenting their upvoted hateposts, so I can show people what I mean when I criticise the sub. Today, it's racism and anti-racism, mayocide edition. A thread about anti-racism [+383] It's a link to a newspaper article by Slate, its title translates to:
In the USA, the new anti-racism turns to paranoia
Yeah, we know where this is going don't we? Racists are the real racists, yadda yadda. Let's look at the top comments. Top comment [+362]
The most unhealthy thing about these new anti-racists is their self-hate. Racism used to be more "simple": we criticised others for being strangers/different. Anti-racists were the ones who fought against that by promoting equality between men. Nowadays antiracists end up considering themselves racist, with concepts such as "I'm white, so I must be racist" [...]
Yeah, mayocide, whites are the real victims of racism, the usual. Guess what doofus, I'm white and I'm not racist. Do you know why I can say that? Because I'm respectful of minorities and listen to them. However, I'm aware that I'm part of a system where whites hold disproportionate amounts of power which leads to systemic racism against minorities, and I do think it makes sense to transfer some of that power to minorities. Oh no, that must mean I hate myself and want mayocide! Second top comment [+237]
When Slate are the ones deciding where stupidity has to stop, we've gone TOO far.
Get it, because this centrist liberal pseudo-news website is a totes far left mayo hating newspaper, since they sometimes cover topics such as feminism. Third top comment [+104]
I'm a racist, it's simpler.
I know it's a "joke", but to qualify as a joke something has to be funny. I see it more as a rare self awareness moment. Fourth top comment [+103]
To be neutral (I think I am), this is scary. Today it's on social media and in some demonstrations, but what will happen once this becomes more widespread? The whole idea of "if you're not with us you're against us" is dangerous and is causing people to vote for far right politicians [...]
It's already happening in France, and you don't have to look far: this very subreddit is full of it. As soon as we bring a bit of nuance to a topic, we get called "traitor to the cause", "racist", "nationalist", "fascist" [...]
I'm sorry, can I just be a fascist in peace without people calling me one? But surely, the subreddit where this comment gets 95 points must really hate fascists, right? Poor fella. A thread about vandalism and an african community [+253] Let me do my best to sum it up: a controversial congolese artist was billed to do a concert, so some protesters of congolese origin burned some trash cans to make firemen show up and cause trouble. So there was fire and smoke in Paris, and the cause was black people. This is going to lead to a very civil conversation about congolese politics and why this artist was allowed in France in the first place, isn't it? Top comment [+235]
How do you want people to not change their opinion against immigration? [...]
I don't need to translate the rest of the comment, nuff said. Black people bad. Whites would never do that. I've never seen burning cars and looting when soccer matches happen, right. Though I bet they blame the soccer burnings on arabs so it would be a moot point to make against them. Second top comment [+156]
"A video showing demonstrators preventing firemen from reaching the fire has been shared on Twitter" What should we do with those people?
Yeah, what do we do? Go on, say it. Place words next to your thoughts. Oh what, you're scared to show the world that you're a fascist piece of shit? Fine, the dogwhistles are clear enough anyway. A thread about youtube banning racist content [+142] So there's this stand up comedian called Dieudonné, right. He's a top of the line antisemitic piece of trash, who has an OBSESSION with denying the holocaust and hating on jews. Like, it's the only topic he covers. Literally. And he has a pretty big following in France. Youtube finally banned him. /france reacts. And I'm not talking the usual antisemitism here, I must stress that we're talking about holocaust denial neo nazi genocide wishing shit. Second top comment [+92]
[...] I'm starting to worry about the growing power of GAFAM and their ability to censor anything, I consider that they have too much ideological power on the world.
You're not wrong, but uh, dude's a neo nazi my lad. Maybe not the best thread to be making your point. Third top comment [+37]
I don't understand this subreddit sometimes. Yesterday everyone was for free speech, and now nobody seems to care.
If The Challenge had a Player Efficiency Rating system, Derrick’s Career PER would be at the very top. He’s one of the most consistent elite challengers ever.
Derrick has participated in 10 challenge seasons. He’s either made the final challenge or lost right before the final eight out of ten times. The other two times, he was sent home fifth. If you go back and analyze every individual Derrick performance, you’ll soon come to realize that he’s never had a bad season under his belt.
Missions Performance-Wise, Derrick was: 2nd best on Fresh Meat (after Evan), 2nd best on Cutthroat (after Abram), 3rd best on Inferno II (after C.T. and Landon), 3rd best on Gauntlet II (after Landon and Alton), 3rd best on Dirty Thirty (after C.T. and Nelson), 4th best on Inferno III (after Abram, Alton, and Johnny), and 5th best on the Duel (after Evan, C.T., Wes, and Brad). The Island had no missions, but Derrick was the clear-cut number one competitor (Ring Wrestle and Ball Buster are cold hard evidence). The missions on the Ruins were too team-oriented to determine a ranking system, but Derrick was at the very least top five and you can make an argument he was in the top three. That’s 9 out of 10 seasons where Derrick was a top five male performer.
The only season where Derrick wasn’t a top 5 male competitor was on his rookie season, Battle of the Sexes II. But even on that season, Derrick still left his fans with a career highlight moment in his short stay. And it was in his the first mission he’s ever participated in, Dangle Drop. In this mission, competitors had to hold on to a punching bag dangling above a lake for as long as possible. Derrick (alongside Abram) won the competition for the Guys, by outlasting everyone in his preliminary heat and then beating Coral and Rachel in the final heat. Young Derrick’s cockiness and drunken behavior didn’t rub off too well within the males team on the first day of Sexes II. If he would’ve just performed average in Dangle Drop, he was potentially the first boot. But Derrick proved to the rest of the team that he was a worthy competitor with a whole lot of fight in him. Derrick became a victim of Elimination Hill on Sexes II after the fifth mission (regardless of having outperformed Mike the Miz up to that point). Mike was an established veteran who had strong social ties to the Men’s team upper echelon, and because of this, he was saved.
Derrick’s showing on Dangle Drop (Sexes II) was a sneak peek to his ATG mental strength, Surf Torture (Inferno II) cemented it.
Surf Torture was the premier mission of Derrick’s sophomore season. In Surf Torture, pairs made within both the Good Guys and Bad Asses teams had to endure physical tests that were assigned to them by highly trained navy seals. The series of physical tasks ranged from wheelbarrows to having to lift heavy logs up and down the shore of a beach. When physical fatigue kicked in and the pairs were no longer performing the exercises in a sufficient manner, they were eliminated from the competition.
When Surf Torture commenced, pairs dropped left and right because of how physically demanding the tasks were. The final 2 pairs came down to Abram/Derrick (Bad Asses) and Landon/Mike The Miz (Good Guys). You couldn’t have written a better final showdown for a mental strength competition. Determination. Drive. Heart. Those four guys embody those intangible qualities better than anyone else in Challenge History.
Here’s what the four mental strength titans had to say during Surf Torture’s final showdown: “I’m dying, so I know they’re hurting just as bad as I am” (Abram). My hamstrings are starting to cramp up and I’m trying to get myself away from thinking about [the pain]” (Landon). “[My] whole mind is saying ‘I can’t do this, I can’t do this anymore” (Mike The Miz). “It’s coming down to the wire. As much as this mission is torturing us, as much as I’m hurting, I’m not gonna give up to the Miz or Landon” (Derrick).
The last physical exercise of Surf Torture was the upper body decimator, the wheelbarrow. The first mission of the season literally weighed on Derrick and Mike’s shoulders, chest, and arms (All Abram and Landon had to do was hold onto their partners legs). Derrick was far from an empty gas tank. He was maneuvering up and down the shore with at least a quarter of his inner drive left, nodding his head from side to side whenever the navy seal asked if he was ready to quit. The Miz was a whole another story. He was running on fumes. Derrick was on his hands in a push-up position, meanwhile Mike was dragging his entire body through the sand (elbows and belly touching the floor). Mike’s engine eventually shut down and the navy seals eliminated him and Landon, giving Derrick, Abram, and the rest of the Bad Asses the first mission win of Inferno II. Derrick’s drive in Surf Torture is a frontrunner for greatest display of mental strength in a Challenge ever.
Other than Surf Torture, Derrick was the shining star of two other Inferno II missions. (1) Time To Ride: Players had to drive miniature motorcycles through a zig zag course above water. Derrick posted the fastest time out of all seven males and the times weren’t close. Derrick - 57 seconds, Landon - 1 min. 49 sec., C.T. - 2 min. 50 sec., Darrell - 3 min. 16 seconds, Abram and Mike Mizanin DQ’ed. Derrick put on a clinic for other all-time greats. (2) Dodge Yer Balls: Derrick and C.T. looked like professional dodgeball players, whereas Brad, Darrell, Landon, and Mike Mizanin performed as they had just picked up a dodgeball for the first time. Derrick and C.T. wiped out the entire Good Guys Team all by themselves in easy fashion. Although it was a joint effort, production made an error in giving C.T. the life shield. Derrick deserved it as he eliminated four Good Guys as opposed to C.T. eliminating three, and Derrick also had two game winning catches (C.T. had none). So, in actuality, the life shield ratio between C.T. and Derrick on Inferno II should’ve been 5 to 3.
On the Gauntlet II, Derrick makes it known that when all is said and done, he’ll go down as pound for pound the greatest challenge player ever in America’s Fifth Sport.
For about the entire first half of his career, Derrick weighed in at about 150 lbs. In the Challenge, that’s the lightest weight to ever exist in the men’s division. The other notable names I can think of within Young Derrick’s weight class are Adam King, Ryan Kehoe, and Luke Wolfe. None of these guys hold a candle to what Derrick has gone on to accomplish in the first half of his career. The club of 150 pounders is always viewed as the bottom of the food chain for Challenge heavyweights to devour. The smallest guys every season are always called into elimination first and are picked off rather easily. Young Derrick was an exception to this design within the game. More times than none, he wasn’t the heavyweights prey. It was the complete opposite. He was the one who preyed upon those bigger and stronger than him.
On the Gauntlet II, Derrick went into five physical eliminations. Derrick was victorious in the first four. The opponents he feasted on were: 170 lb. Brad, 180 lb. Adam, 190 lb. Ace, and 220 lb. Syrus. He defeated Adam Larson and Brad in Name That Coconut (a trivia game and a physical battle mixed into one) and beat Ace and Syrus In Beach Brawl (a sumo wrestling contest on sand). The Derrick vs. Syrus elimination was highly believed to be “Derrick’s swan song”. However, the combination of Derrick’s drive and wrestling experience helped him shock the world as he came out on top against Syrus, 3-1. Derrick suffered season-ending defeat in his fifth elimination, versus a 200 lb. Timmy in the final male gauntlet before the final challenge.
Derrick’s one hell of a regular season on Gauntlet II earned him nickname “The Pitbull”. He also received a nod of approval from the most respected veteran in the game, Mark Long. Mark praised Derrick for “[having] so much heart, and being the guy who went against the monster every time and [slaying] the monster”. Mark Long declared retirement at the G2 reunion, but as he was doing so, he passed his signature bandana over to Derrick (to represent a passing of the torch). “From the First Road Ruler to the Last Road Ruler”, Mark knew that Derrick was ready to be at the front and center of the Challenge’s future.
After Gauntlet II, it was just a matter of time before “The Pitbull” would get his first challenge victory. The only question was when.
On Fresh Meat, Derrick was paired with Diem and they placed 4th overall out of 13 teams. Together, they won three missions (the second most out of any team behind Coral/Evan). They won Batten Down The Hatches (agility based), Jump Down Under (swimming based), and Deep Blue (tested ability of holding breath under water). Derrick continued to prove how well rounded of a competitor he was to add to his bulletproof mental strength and tip-top wrestling ability.
Derrick’s fifth challenge was The Duel. Although he was eliminated at the halfway point, he still gave us some moments to be proud of. Derrick did something we thought he would never do and that’s win a puzzle elimination. Derrick’s intelligence has always been his biggest weakness, so him winning Ascender vs. Tyler is a nice outlier experience we can appreciate in his long line of work. We also got traditional Derrick in Push Over, a mission where players, having their hands tied together, had to wrestle one another off a large plank that was attached to the end of the boat. Derrick did what Derrick knows best and that was get low and use leverage to push his opponents off. The mission was done tournament style with 8 male participants. Derrick managed to take out C.T., Big Easy, and Brad to win Push Over. I have Derrick’s low man execution in Push Over as the third best mission highlight of the Duel (behind C.T. in Flying Leap and Wes in Sunken Treasure).
On the next season to take place, Inferno III, Derrick gets called in as a replacement for C.T. who punched Davis the first night in South Africa. Derrick didn’t expect to be on the season, which probably means he didn’t do any prep training in the off-season and it best explains why his mission performances on the Inferno III were teetering more towards middle-of-the-road than being the number one guy on his team. He didn’t win a single life shield, but still managed to put up solid numbers in the mission stat sheet. Derrick’s finest showing on I3 was his Cornerball win vs. Davis, where he roughhoused Davis in a 1-on-1 game of rugby. After six valiant efforts, Derrick finally got his long awaited championship on Inferno III.
Throughout his career, Derrick’s pitbull mentality has piled up a phenomenal highlight reel. On the flip side, Derrick’s social mechanics are one of the best the game has ever seen.
In his ten season career, Derrick only had 2 seasons where he was at the bottom in terms of social positioning (Sexes II and Gauntlet II). The other 8 seasons Derrick has been on, he was at the top of the totem pole in terms of alliances. For example, on I2, Derrick/C.T./Brad/Darrell kept each other safe from ever calling one another out for the elimination. Three of four of these guys never saw an elimination and made the final (Derrick was one of them). This was the only secret alliance on the I2, as alliances were considered taboo during the Golden era. On Fresh Meat, the main alliance that ran the entire second half of the game was Derrick/Diem, Darrell/Aviv, and Theo/Chanda. On Cutthroat, Derrick was the most well-connected player on the Blue team, and could’ve gone without seeing an elimination the entire season had Ty never been such a catastrophe.
Derrick’s social game on his second and third championship seasons (The Island and The Ruins) were perfect.
On The Island, from the public perception, there were village leaders (Kenny, Johnny, Paula, Johanna, Dunbar) and the rest of the village were outsiders. Derrick was the only player on the entire island who was happily welcomed by the leaders group, but also had a great relationship with the rest of the outsiders. Derrick was great friends with Kenny and Johnny, but unlike the two of them, he never bullied Robin, Tonya, or Evelyn. These people were his actual friends who thought highly of him. For this reason, Derrick’s key was never in consideration to get taken throughout the entire season. You couldn’t say the same for Kenny, Johnny, Dunbar, and Paula (all of whom either had their key stolen or were in danger of getting it stolen). Derrick’s untouchable social game on the Island is best highlighted when he threw a face-off just to give Johnny a key. Late in the season, people without keys were jumping at each other throats to get into the face-off, but yet, no one batted an eye when Derrick who already had a key volunteered for a second time. Had anybody else done this, it would’ve been seen as cynical, but because it was Derrick, people genuinely didn’t seem bothered by it. The plan of Johnny getting his key worked, and Derrick won a 10-1 landslide vote versus Cohutta. Derrick was respected so much that Cohutta’s plea was him essentially telling everyone that Derrick was a better fit for the final boats.
On the Ruins, Derrick was the third member to the J.E.K. coalition. He was the silent partner in crime (hence his first name initial not being included in the alliance name). Derrick benefited from all of Evan and Kenny’s political moves without being seen as a member of the alliance. Derrick had the strongest social ties in the game (Along with J.E.K., he was great friends with all the old schoolers - Syrus, Darrell, Katie, Tonya, Veronica, and Ibis). Derrick had to conform with the J.E.K. political movement by sacrificing old school friends in order to get his way to the end. Derrick, however, was not punished for his actions, because after all he was just doing what was best for his game (Derrick was a respectful sportsman to everyone unlike the rest of his J.E.K. associates).
Derrick’s overall player qualities stood the test of time on Dirty Thirty.
When our beloved all-time greats come back from a grand layoff (5 season break or more), the narrative arc in their comeback season is always the same: They fall short of the final challenge. We seen it with Darrell on Invasion, Mark on Exes, Alton on Seasons II, and Brad on Vendettas. Derrick broke the curse on Dirty Thirty. Although he had been missing in action for nine seasons, Derrick made it all the way to second place behind his all-time great comrade Jordan.
Dirty Thirty was an extremely mentally strenuous season with all types of twists and turns. The season also has one of the most stacked male casts of all-time, but this didn’t seem to bring out a single ounce of ring rust in Derrick. He was the only male to never be sent to the redemption house. Derrick won three missions, an elimination, and was apart of the top alliance of the house (with Bananas/C.T./Jordan/Tony/Leroy). Derrick’s well-connected social game was best highlighted in Veronica going to bat for him by turning the vote towards Leroy in the greatest political move of the season.
Derrick is the true elimination king, not Wes.
Wes’ 14-8 elimination record is the most padded and highly overrated statistic in Challenge history. His win against Derrick in Pole Wrestle is praiseworthy, but his best wins after that are beating Zach/Zahida in Lights Out or Jamie in blindfolded soccer (those victories aren’t much to write about for a second and third best of a hailed “elimination king”). He also has five exile wins that are basically non-canon in these debates (as him and Casey had 40 lbs. less luggage to carry, per average, than their opponents). Wes’ seven other victories were versus: Chet, Nick Brown, Davis/Tyrie, Brandon/Ty, Nate/Priscilla, and Nate/Christina. In Wes’ 8 losses, he was dominated four times: twice to Leroy, once to Bear, and once to Big Easy (although he was at a large weight disadvantage). His four other losses were versus Bananas in a crapshoot, Dario in an agility contest, Cohutta in a strategy based elimination, and his stamina failed him in an exile where the luggage factor was no longer benefiting him (versus Luke/Evelyn).
Derrick, on the other hand, is 8-4, arguably 9-4 (if you count his mercenary win against Joss in Vendettas as an official elimination). Derrick’s three best elimination wins are (1) vs. Joss in Crazy Eight: The Pitbull came out of the doghouse one last time and it’s jaw was locked to the 8-figure that him and Joss were fighting for. There was no letting go, and after 20 rounds of back-breaking battle, Joss’ mental fatigue kicked in and Derrick prevailed in the Vendettas death match. (2) versus Syrus in Beach Brawl (3) and versus Bananas in Reel World. The other opponents Derrick has knocked out throughout his career were Adam Larson, Ace, Brad, Brandon, Davis, and Tyler.
Derrick’s four losses are the most honorable Challenge deaths imaginable and take nothing away from him as a competitor. (1/2) He lost to Timmy and Tyler in strictly weight based eliminations (otherwise known as eliminations that hold the least amount of weight in judging competitors, no pun intended). Derrick was at a 50 lb. disadvantage in both contests, and there was nothing he could’ve done to win. No physical contact was allowed. It was just push or pull with all of your body weight. (3) Derrick/Diem lost to Darrell/Aviv on FM1 exile. Derrick/Diem had 75 more lbs. of luggage to carry than Darrell/Aviv. They stood no chance before the elimination even began. Fresh Meat exiles, in general, are considered unlawful in all-time great discussions. (4) Derrick lost to Wes in what people call today, the most memorable elimination to ever go down in Challenge history. Derrick’s performance here is a moral victory. Wes, in his post-elimination confessional, said he wanted Derrick to be The Godfather to his first child because of how much respect he had for Derrick after their elimination.
Although a prime Wes beat Derrick head-to-head, Derrick is not only the one to have knocked out the bigger names throughout their elimination career, but he’s also won more beautifully and lost more honorably. This is why Derrick rightfully deserves to sit on the throne for Elimination King (only C.T. and Darrell challenge him for a seat).
Derrick’s Overall Assessment.
In the league of Challenge legends, Derrick is seventh best. Most challenge fans would probably disagree with having Derrick one spot ahead of Darrell. But in my eyes, the only thing Darrell really has over Derrick is championship belts. Derrick has had a more consistently efficient career with more competitive highlights. When you break down their careers side-by-side: Derrick’s best competitive seasons (Inferno II, Gauntlet II, Fresh Meat) are greater than Darrell’s best (Inferno, Fresh Meat, Invasion). Derrick’s best social game performances (Island, Ruins) are better than Darrell’s best social game seasons (Inferno, Inferno II). Derrick’s worst showings (Sexes II, Duel) are a whole lot more memorable than Darrell’s (Fresh Meat 2, Dirty Thirty).
Derrick has ATG mental strength, aggression, and wrestling ability, whereas Darrell has ATG physical strength and stamina. Both have poor intelligence. Although they’re both close competitively speaking, Derrick edges out Darrell by being more well rounded in other areas such as agility and balance (two areas Darrell is inconsistent in, since he’s afraid of heights).
In eliminations, you can’t go wrong with picking either or. In missions, I’d take Derrick. In a final challenge, I’d take Darrell, but the question is would Darrell even get there? Derrick has shown time and time again he’s in for the long haul, whereas Darrell has been sent on the first flight home one-fourth of his career. This, along with a more well-connected social game is why I believe Derrick is the slightly safer choice between the two.
Derrick’s ceiling is the 7th position. His highly questionable intelligence molds him as a second place finisher in Challenge finals today (Dirty Thirty is proof of this). To be in consideration for the Challenge Mount Rushmore, you have to be a betting favorite to not only make it to the end, but also win a modern final all by yourself. The rest of the six legends that have yet to be revealed have all shown to be more than capable of enduring an entire season and accomplishing a first place finish. They’re also a lot more independent in constructing their own destinies from beginning to end, whereas you can always argue Derrick’s winning legacy might’ve not been as decorated if he never would’ve joined forces with Kenny Santucci (Derrick’s three championships have all been with Kenny on his team, who was always politically in charge of the game’s operations).
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[OC] An insight in the world of football kits - 454 teams that play in the most unusual colors
I would like to start with a humble warning, that this will be a longer than "usual" post. Hopefully, it will compensate with the amount of information you might deem as interesting. :) After finishing my first journey into the world of colors in football, by counting which teams play in red & black color combination, I decided to pursue my next curiosity: How many football teams in the world play in unusual colors? By this, I was thinking of teams which have a “main” color that is rarely used (grey, brown, purple, pink, etc.) or use an uncommon color combination. Because of this coronavirus madness that is going on, I was able to spend more hours for this project than I planned, so in the end I was able to go into almost every single league in the world. I checked teams from over 400 divisions, of different tiers, from all continents. Although it’s not an official list, I tried to include as many clubs as possible on it. Now, you're probably asking yourself "How do you measure how rare or how common is in football a color / combination of colors?" An exact answer is impossible to give, so I started the study using my own experience as a football supporter, finally finding an useful purpose for the thousands of hours spent on watching football games. Therefore, I used a subjective point of view and excluded the color combinations that I, personally, considered to be the most common in football teams, namely:
One-color kits: white, black, red, blue, yellow, green
Most 2-color combinations that contain white or black: white-blue, white-red, black-yellow, black-green, etc.
Other combinations: red-blue, red-yellow, blue-yellow, yellow-green.
An exception was the color orange, where I excluded only the orange+black combination, which is much more widespread than all other combinations that include orange.
The selection criteria for the teams were as follows:
The team should have their main kit in colors which are different than the ones enumerated above;
The team must have played or been associated with the colors for several seasons;
The team should be currently active (dissolved clubs were not included).
But enough introduction, let’s jump straight into the list of the most uncommon kit colors in the world of football:
CATEGORY I - Teams with 1 main color
1.Purple(includes purple+white or purple+black) - [73 clubs] Notable teams: Fiorentina, Anderlecht, Toulouse, Austria Vienna, Real Valladolid. Other teams (by conference): UEFA (photo gallery here) - CE Carroi (Andorra), SV Austria Salzburg, Austria Klagenfurt (Austria), K Beerschot VA (Belgium), Etar Veliko Tarnovo (Bulgaria), NK Dubrava (Croatia), Daventry Town FC (England), Istres (France), VfL Osnabrück, Erzgebirge Aue (Germany), Ujpest, Békéscsaba 1912, Kecskemet TE (Hungary), ACD Legnano, AS Ostia Mare, Gioiese, Casoria Calcio 1979 (Italy), St. Andrews FC (Malta), FC Argeș, ASU Politehnica Timișoara, ACS Poli Timișoara (Romania), FK Graficar (Serbia), KFC Komarno (Slovakia), NK Maribor (Slovenia), Real Jaen, Alameda de Osuna EF, CD Becerril, Atletico Guadalajara, CD Guadalajara, CD Liendo, CD Santurtzi, CD Palencia, La Baneza (Spain) (Spain), Afjet Afyonspor, Hacettepe, Orduspor (Turkey). Rest of the World (photo gallery here):
COMNEBOL - Club Villa Dalmine, Sacachispas FC, Club Atlético Quiroga (Argentina), Deportes Concepcion, San Antonio Unido (Chile) Defensor Sporting, CA Fenix (Uruguay), Metropolitanos FC (Venezuela).
CONCACAF - Orlando City, Louisville City FC, Oakland County FC (USA), Pacific FC (Canada), CD Chalatenango (El Salvador).
CAF - Mountain of Fire and Miracles FC (Nigeria), Mbeya City FC (Tanzania), AS Denguele Foot (Ivory Coast), Fovu Baham FC (Cameroon), AS Sonabel (Burkina Faso).
AFC - FC Anyang (South Korea), Kyoto Sanga, Sanfrecce Hiroshima, Fujieda MYFC (Japan), Heilongjiang Lava Spring (China), Hanoi FC (Vietnam), Nagaworld FC (Cambodia), Persita Tangerang, Persik Kediri, PSGC Ciamin (Indonesia), Al-Ain (UAE), De Abasin Sape (Afghanistan), Perth Glory (Australia).
OFC - AS Manu-Ura (Tahiti).
2.Burgundy (includes burgundy+white, or similar shades: maroon, claret, dark red, wine red) - [74 clubs] Notable teams: AC Torino, Metz, Sparta Prague, CFR Cluj. Other teams (by conference): UEFA (photo gallery here) - FK Sarajevo (Bosnia), Chelmsford City, FC Northampton Town (England), JJK Jyväskylä (Finland), Dynamo Berlin (Germany), AEL Larissa (Greece), UM Selfoss (Iceland), Galway United (Ireland), Reggina, Cittadella, Salernitana, Trapani, Livorno, US Pontedera, Arezzo, Reggio Audace FC, Fano, US Capistrello, AC Morrone, AC Locri, ASD Bovalinese, Borgosesia Calcio, Milano City FC, Union Clodiense Chioggia, USD Breno, Olympia Agnonese, ASD Travestere Calcio, AC Nardo, ASD Citta di Acireale (Italy), FC Džiugas Telšiai (Lithuania), Nardo FK (Norway), CD Fatima, Clube Oriental de Lisboa (Portugal), Rapid Bucharest, Viitorul Ianca (Romania), AC Libertas (San Marino), Heart of Midlothian FC, Stenhousemuir FC (Scotland), NK Triglav Kranj (Slovenia), Independiente de Vallecas, CD Cenicero (Spain), Hatayspor, İnegölspor, Bandirmaspor, Elazigspor (Turkey), Cardiff Metropolitan University FC (Wales). Rest of the World (photo gallery here):
COMNEBOL - Lanús (Argentina), Jacuipense, Ferroviaria, S.E.R. Caxias do Sul (Brasil), Deportivo Liberacion (Paraguay), Club Atletico Torino (Peru), Carabobo FC (Venezuela)
CONCACAF - Sacramento Republic FC (USA), Valour FC (Canada), Deportivo Saprissa (Costa Rica)
CAF - Manzini Wanderers FC (Eswatini), Generation Foot (Senegal), Moroka Swallows FC (South Africa)
AFC - Vissel Kobe, FC Ryukyu (Japan), Al Wahda (UAE), Al Markhiya (Qatar), Shahr Khodro FC (Iran), Al Nasr SC (Kuwait), PSM Makassar (Indonesia), Nejmeh SC (Lebanon)
OFC - Matavera FC (Cook Islands), FC Guadalcanal (Solomon Islands).
UEFA - HNK Sibenik (Croatia), Blackpool (England) SV TEC (Netherlands), Hapoel Rishon LeZion (Israel), Pistoiese (Italy), FK Banga Gargzdai (Lithuania), Bruk-Bet Termalica Nieciecza, Zagłębie Lubin (Poland), CD Burgos Promesas (Spain), AFC Eskiltuna (Sweden), Alanyaspor, Adanaspor (Turkey), FC Mariupol (Ukraine).
COMNEBOL - Nova Iguaçu FC (Brazil), Cobresal, Cobreloa (Chile) Envigado FC (Colombia), Universidad César Vallejo (Peru).
CONCACAF - Houston Dynamo, Rio Grande Valley Football Club Toros (USA), Deportivo Achuapa (Guatemala), Cibao FC (Dominican Republic), Guayama FC (Puerto Rico)
CAF - RS Berkane (Morocco), FC Nouadhibou (Mauritania), Polokwane City FC (South Africa), Akwa United (Nigeria), Dire Dawa Kenema (Ethiopia), Salitas FC (Burkina Faso), Côte d'Or FC (Seychelles), Fosa Juniors FC (Madagascar)
AFC - Jeju United FC (South Korea). Shimizu S-Pulse, Omiya Ardija (Japan), Ratchaburi, Sukhothai FC, Nakhon Ratchasima, Sisaket FC, Kasetsart FC, Udon Thani FC (Thailand), FELDA United (Malaysia), SHB Đà Nẵng (Vietnam), Albirex FC Singapore, Hougang United FC (Singapore), Borneo FC (Indonesia), Sporting Clube de Goa, FC Goa, NEROCA FC (India), Saipa FC (Iran), Sanat Mes Kerman (Iran), Brothers Union FC (Bangladesh), Ajman Club (UAE), UMM Salal (Qatar), Al-Hala SC (Bahrain).
UEFA - CS Sedan Ardennes, US Lusitanos Saint Maur (France), Alba Adriatica, Union Feltre (Italy), Speranța Drochia (Moldova), SP Cailungo (San Marino), Amio SD, Laracha CF, Apurtuarte Club, CF Jacetano (Spain), Amed SK, Karşıyaka S.K., Diyarbakirspor (Turkey)
COMNEBOL - Club Agropecuario, Sportivo Atlético Club Las Parejas (Argentina), Portuguesa RJ, Pato Branco EC (Brazil), Boston River (Uruguay)
CONCACAF - AD Carmelita, AD Guanacasteca (Costa RIca), SV Robinhood (Suriname)
CAF - Stade Tunisien (Tunisia), MC Alger, JSM Bejaia (Algeria), Africa Sports d'Abidjan (Ivory Coast), Teichman City FC (Ghana), Canon Yaounde (Cameroon), Defense Force SC (Ethiopia), AS Pikine (Senegal), Masters Security FC (Malawi).
AFC - Lokomotiv Tashkent (Uzbekistan), Adamstown Rosebud FC (Australia).
UEFA - OFC Sliven 2000 (Bulgaria), Braintree Town FC, Mansfield Town FC (England), Lions Gibraltar FC, ASD Czarlins Muzane (Italy), Aalesunds FK (Norway), AE Roses (Spain)
COMNEBOL - Duque de Caxias (Brazil), Academia Puerto Cabello (Venezuela)
CONCACAF - FC Cincinnati (USA), Lobos UPNFM (Honduras)
CAF - Real Kings FC (South Africa), Sunshine Stars (Nigeria)
AFC - Albirex Niigata (Japan), Queensland Lions FC, Riverside Olympic (Australia), Wellington United (New Zealand), Thai Port FC (Thailand), Al Fayha (Saudi Arabia), Al Karamah SC (Syria), Homenetmen Beirut (Lebanon)
UEFA - Enosis Neon Paralimni FC (Cyprus), Scunthorpe United, Weymouth FC (England), Argja Bóltfelag (Feroe), Glacis United (Gibraltar), Cobh Ramblers FC, Drogheda United (Ireland), USD Vipo Trento, FC Rieti (Italy), Gzira United (Malta), Veles Moscow (Russia), Keith FC (Scotland), Pontevedra CF (Spain), AC Bellinzona (Switzerland), Colwyn Bay FC (Wales)
2.Blue + Yellow + White [1 club] -CA Bella Vista (Uruguay) 3.Blue + Yellow + Black [1 club] -Real Sport Clube (Portugal) 4.Blue + Green + White [1 club] -St. Louis FC (USA) 5.Blue + Orange + White [2 clubs]
2.Red + Yellow + Blue + White [1 club] -ASDC Verbania (Italy) 3.Red + Yellow + Blue + Black [1 club] -Coras de Nayarit (Mexico) Here they are. 454 teams from across the entire the world, from Feroe Island to Papua New Guinea or the 4th Italian league. This should be about it. However, if there are by any chance teams that I might have missed, please feel free to leave a comment and I will add them on the list. Thank you for reading and hope you enjoyed it!
This post is aimed at the ones that are on the fence watching or have jumped the fence but have not a truly formed opinion. There are a lot of opinions about Star Citizen, but I have never seen publicized (not saying they do not exist) a more neutral stance opinion. While I was thinking about Star Citizen and certain things I have been reading/hearing (good or bad) in the last year to this point, and how new players end up feeling "cheated" not by the game, but how they perceived the game by the community way of exposing things, I decided to sit down, make a cup of cappuccino and write this Q&A style post which I think better illustrates what I'm trying to pass across. Just a brief explanation of my story with Star Citizen before me procced. I have been following this game since patch 2.1 I believe (a shit ton of years ago) at that time, I was watching a specific streamer which made me jump in the hype wagon. I cashed out the basic pack of the time, an Aurora, and jumped on the game. HOLY. FUCKING. MOLE. Seeing and playing are two very different things. Even for me at the time I was well aware of this fact (less than today, but was). After 3 to 4 days of having purchased my Aurora, I asked for a refund (wich was given), stop following the game, and moved on. I still read some news from Star Citizen from time to time. At this time, the majority of news was not very different from what you can see today, outside of SC content creators. The game is a scam, the game is delayed while scamming players, SC fans are getting angry, the money is drying up, the game is dead, etc, etc. Them 2018, I for some reason, end up following the game, and mid of 2019 I once again forked the cash-out. Bought a Cutlass Black game pack that I changed to my current setup Anvil Pisces pack (PU + SQ42 68 euros); Banu Merchantman (300 and something euros) and Aegis Sabre (160 euros or whatever) 550 to 600 euros total +/- With my presentation made, Let's follow with the Q&A type session. Q: Is this game a Scam? A: Clearly at this point in the game life, people that still spout this nonsense have never been scammed or have very little clues about what a scam is supposed to be. Trying to explain why the Sun is hot is stupidy, the Sun is hot period, you do need to be a fucking scientist to figure that one out. Nop, Star Citizen, at the moment I'm writing this post, is not a Scam, period. Q: But Star Citizen as made more than 300 million just from backers, and depending on who you check the game as been in development from 8 to 10 years. How can it not be a Scam? A: Is not a Scam, but it's also a prime example of bad money management. If all this money had better management, the project would be 2 to 3 years added of its current stat. Q: But its been 8 to 10 years developing the game, X game (insert whatever game you want here) took 4 to 7 years and cost much less to make. A: I will reiterate again, This project had money wasted (millions), that is a fact. But I dare any of the initial backers to come here and tell they were sure SC would gather so much money under its belt? I dare any of the initial backers if Chris Roberts went and opened a studio in the UK: Germany and the dunno how many in the USA right out the belt if they would not call in crazy right in the spot. A megalomaniac dreaming of grandeur. A lot of people can squirm all they want. One thing is having a studio/studios already in place with devs in their wings under contract, the other is to make everything from scratch. That takes time and more extra money (we are talking millions here, not thousands) This was the game pitched by the end of 2012 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92rb-8mYHE0 now compare to what we have today... Q: And the 30 thousand game packs the game sell? Players spending hundreds and thousands in the game. I read about a lot of them saying they were scammed. Do I need that amount to play the game? A: Nah, they were not scammed. They are simply stupid! Coming to SC that is in development, spending hundreds to thousands, and them cry that the milk bottle fell on the floor and the cat is drinking the milk is like the pinnacle of human stupidity. I love even more the ones saying that they then need the money back because they cannot pay for their current expenses and as such were scammed... Backers can be angry about a lot of things in SC. One of the most in face cases being that CIG oand Chris Robert being natural fucking liars about release dates, and everything that comes out of their mouths should not be believed until it's finally in-game or released. But spending an absurd amount of money that some simply cannot afford to spend and then saying CIG is at fault... rotfl! Cry me some more please =D And no, you do not need to spend so much. Buy the Cutlass Black pack or Freelance pack and you can do almost everything the game as to offer to this day. Also, remember that you can now buy in-game or simply rent a great number of ships. Q: But, but, and CR mansion? Boat? Where did he found money for all that? For sure money, it's ending in his pocket! A: Do you still believe in unicorns and fairies? Of course, the man put money in his pockets! And I'm quite certain was not the only one. The day you can find a place were a multi-million dollar project as no corruption, it's the day you know you are dead and you had the good fortune to end up in Heaven. Congratulations. Q: So, me buying SC is a sure bet, right? A: Holy Moly, this question it's so ambiguous and open for debate at this stage of SC live that here is where I think a lot of newcomers are fucked right in the ass. The first and most important thing that future and current players have to understand... SC is not a game, but a tech demo at the moment. So, if you are going to SC thinking you are buying a game today, I can tell you, NO! You are NOT buying a game, but a promise. Q: But there are streamers streaming this game all the time. YouTubers. Organizations. How can you say this is a tech demo and not a game? A: The first two you mention are 90% in the category of "they enjoy the game and want to try to make a living off the game" Not today, maybe one or another already can, but the idea is to establish yourself as an SC content creator and when the game finally booms in the scene, they will get a large enough base that will allow them to make a living of content creation of this game. I can assure you for a fact, that streamers and YouTubers have been raised and killed in the years that SC as been up and about because it still as not reach the main stage. The other 10% and organizations have fun with what SC already offers and they enjoy making content for SC and playing with other like-minded players. Q: Now I'm confused. Then I should not buy Star Citizen? A: Again, ambiguous, and open for debate. I will repeat myself, SC is not a game, but a tech demo in its current development stage. Buying in SC right at this moment is beliving in a promise. CIG is putting forward, bit by bit, small step by small step a bigger and bigger tech demo, that will at one point finally be called Star Citizen the game. Can you have fun in its current life cycle? Sure you can! But you need to understand what the game as to offer atm and if it really can give you that amount of fun. I'm going to use myself as an example. World of Warcraft a game loved by millions. If you ask me, do I prefer to play for 2 hours WoW or SC I'm going to say Star Citizen. No, I'm not saying SC is a superior game, God no! I'm saying is that I don't enjoy playing WoW (single target bash bash, is not my cup of tea) and enjoy much more the little content offered by SC compared to the megamouth that WoW is. Q: What do you enjoy in the game? A: I feel immersed in the Star Citizen world. I enter SC and my body is not feeling any pressure. I like visually what I see. I love the feeling of entering my ship and sitting on the cockpit and saying "wow, this ship is mine." I can look at the stars in the sky and be a part of them. I love the work the devs are doing with the planet and moon tech. Hell if we were going to judge the game just for that and its soundtrack, SC would without a doubt the WoW of modern times in the success department. I enjoy flying my ship doing trade and combat. Not analyzing the current 3.10 patch changes, just saying the feeling. Q: Then, what don't you enjoy in the game? A: 30k errors. (If you are not aware is an error saying the server died for whatever reason). Nothing like you doing trade, having a Cat full of cargo and sayonara cargo, and all the money spent on it. If SC was able to get rid of the 30k or at least just save what we have in our cargo while trading, SC would be 100x more enjoyable. Lack of optimization. I have a ryzen 2700x, 16GB ram, and RTX2070 overclocked that makes me stay in between a normal RTX 2070 and a normal RTX 2080 and a 1440P monitor and my in-game FPS is dog shit... 30+/- in cities and 60+/- in space. It's not the best PC setup, but it's already a beefy setup. No real gameplay loops. A bunch of space full of nothing basically. Q: But I have seen vids of players doing things like 25vs25 PvP, amazing space and planet battles, even recreating some funny things from movies and real-life events. A: Let's take soccer as an example (I'm European, where this sport is the King here) I give you ball and a field from a major team to play on alone. Sure it's going to be fun for some time but comes to a point that it's boring as fuck. Now I get you more 21 people to play with you and a soccer field made of dirt terrain. I can assure you are going to have a ton of fun for a long time, in that shit soccer field with other players than in the all nice and pro soccer field alone. SC is the Pro soccer field all clean and beautiful without the players. For that point, any game with other people is normally fun, does not matter how shit the game is. Taking WoW again as an example. Does not matter how good the game is if you only play that game alone. After a certain time, that game is pure dog shit. Q: I read some saying the game is getting dated and even console games are now better graphically that SC. A: This conversation exists since the PS1 time. Insert title game in PC that as amazing graphics to have some guys saying consoles are superior... Consols are getting better and better. That is a fact, but they are still not comparable to PC. even in shit ports to PC, a lot of the games play with 30 FPS in console (not even being able to get that many FPS in all areas of the game), while their PC counterpart plays with 90+ FPS and if in a top pc 120+ FPS Another point that is extremely important to understand, it's a single-player game is worlds different from a multiplayer game, and even more to an MMO. It's like the Unreal Engine 5 vs SC... we still do not have a fucking game that uses the full force of Unreal Engine 4 capabilities and some are already fapping over UR5. Yes UR5 will without a doubt bring some new techs to the table that will be amazing, and I love Unreal Engine 3 and 4. But it's like RTX tech. Sure one or another game as this tech (badly implemented) but so what? The tech came to the general public in 2018 and unless you count Minecraft that as some amazing RTX usage, you will wait some more years until RTX is something that enough games will use to be considered a must-have tech... same crap with Unreal Engine 5. Q: What about all the promises CR and CIG said about the game and we can all see it will be near impossible to come in fruition? A: As I said before, they are liars. This project as the possibility in my opinion and many others to be an amazing game, that in normal circumstances could never be created when first pitched and in the next years. But there is a lot that was promised that will never see the light of day. That is why I advise any possible new backer to judge the project for what already as to offer and for what we can see as "real" in the near future. Not what the game will be in the next few years. There could be more things I could write, but I believe I have put a good number of things already in this post. If anyone wants to put a question forward that wants me to answer, please feel free to do so.
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